Coffeemaker
by YaoiIsParadise
Summary: AU Kuroko Tetsuya works as a coffeemaker, a regular and normal job. He likes his ordinary job and life. It was all bliss and beauty... until five outrageous men came into his life and messed up his overused routine. Drabbles of Kuroko's life as a coffeemaker.
1. Drabble One

**Summary:** AU Kuroko Tetsuya works as a coffeemaker, a regular and normal job. He likes his ordinary job and life. It was all bliss and beauty... until five outrageous men came into his life and messed up his overused routine. Drabbles of Kuroko's life as a coffeemaker.

**WARNING(s): **swearing, OoC-ness, grammar/spelling errors, fail humor

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN KUROKO NO BASUKE. **

**Note(s): **Kuroko and the GoM's first meeting. It was not a pretty sight.

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_**Drabble One: First Meetings **_

Kuroko Tetsuya lived a normal life of a coffeemaker. He was no model scouted by many for his looks. He was no famous shogi player, annihilating all his opponents. He was no renowned doctor that saves millions of lives. He was no police fighting for justice. He was no pastry chef whose pastries were enjoyed by even the most hateful critique. He was a coffeemaker that owns a small shop down the street.

He was normal, but why did five well-known people must come and jumble his ordinary life?

It was just another regular day for Kuroko Tetsuya. Calm and mellow people came to his coffee shop, not troublesome delinquents and mafia members. But once, a silent and aloof person came to his coffee shop. He wore the ring that symbolized his rank of the cloud guardian of the Vongola family, a mafia family. He was well-known for his proper manners and morals, so Kuroko didn't pay too much attention to him. Though, it was a mistake. (1)

Friends of the man, or can he really say friends, came in. They were rather loud and boisterous as they disrupted the peace and silence of the coffee place. That triggered the noisy side of the man, and soon the coffee place ended in a disaster. Fortunately, they paid for the repairs, and the cloud guardian was a regular at the place. Kuroko was glad that no more disruptions came across the place.

Well, he was glad about that... until the epitomes of catastrophe waltz inside his shop...

Back to the topic, like it said, it was a regular day for Kuroko. There was no lunch rush for him, since he was just a regular coffeemaker. The bell rang as Kuroko looked towards the door. A tanned man waltz through the door as he caught the attention of many of the small amount of guests. His dark scowl enchanted them as his cold demeanor made them fall for him.

In short, he was hot. Really hot.

Kuroko, being the polite gentleman he was, welcomed him. He walked up to the counter and scowled even further as he looked around.

"An espresso," the scowling man ordered like he was the one in charge. Not wanting to waste any unnecessary energy, Kuroko nodded and went to make the espresso he ordered.

"Aomine-cchi! Don't leave me behind like that!" an energetic blonde came tumbling in, huffing and puffing heavily while walking towards Aomine.

"Why should I fuckin' wait for you?" Aomine asked, although he didn't really care what Kise answered.

"Aomine, don't be rude." Kuroko looked to the green haired male, who so happens to be holding a wooden beaver. He held it like his life depended on it.

Kuroko tried to act like it was a normal day in his life. Like it always happened. But it _doesn't_. He kept on silently making the male's, whose name was Aomine, espresso.

"Here," Kuroko said as he placed the espresso in front of the male. Aomine mumbled a quiet thanks; well, at least he knows proper manners sometimes.

"Ah! Aomine-cchi! I want some!" the annoying blonde exclaimed as he accidentally spilled Aomine's espresso. All over the floor and on Aomine's new and clean police suit.

"Fuck, Kise!" Aomine exclaimed, standing up and glaring at Kise. He looked like he was ready to brawl.

"Please don't fight here," Kuroko said calmly and quietly. His efforts were useless as they didn't pay any attention to him. Poor Kuroko. Was God playing with him?

Aomine lunged for Kise as Kise clumsily scrambled away. Aomine almost punched Kise, but Kise barely dodged it. He pushed Aomine off of him as Kise ran to the green haired male.

"Aomine-cchi! Why did you do that! The face is a model's life!"

"_Oha-Asa_ did say beware of any fights for Gemini." The green haired male adjusted his glasses properly as he also took a seat near the counter.

"Daiki. Ryouta. No fights." Aomine and Kise hesitantly turned their heads towards the source of the voice. They turned paler when they saw who it was. A short redhead?

"Y-Yeah Akashi/Akashi-cchi," they both said at the same time before obediently sitting down.

"I'm sorry for their behavior," Akashi said as he walked towards Kuroko, looking at his name tag. "Tetsuya."

He took Kuroko's hand in his as he inched closer to his face. Kuroko slowly backed away, uncomfortable by this position. Akashi was merciless as he kept on going forward.

"Is there any way that they can make up for this?" Akashi asked, glaring slightly at Aomine. "Daiki, I dare you to say that again."

"A-Ah... What Akashi?" Aomine tried to play dumb, but Akashi was still relentless.

"Your police duties didn't push you enough. Run ten laps around the biggest park in your neighborhood."

Akashi turned his attention back to Kuroko as a tall purple haired man came from behind. He crunched on his snacks as crumbs fell on the floor, filled with the spilt espresso. Kuroko stared dejectedly at the floor, already dreading cleaning up everything.

"Aka-chin... He looks tasty," the purple haired man drawled.

"Murasakibara Atsushi, eat properly," Akashi said. Murasakibara nodded, but he kept on eating sloppily.

Kuroko noticed his customers all disappeared out of fear. Aomine and Kise were tumbling everywhere, tipping over chairs and tables. They were making a mess everywhere as Akashi didn't do anything to stop them now. Midorima was rearranging his cups to form a beaver building a bridge as a frog stood on top of it. To be honest, Midorima was good at it. Murasakibara went away to look at the fight between Aomine and Kise, dropping crumbs everywhere this time.

And Kuroko could do nothing to stop this because Akashi's hand kept him in place.

_'I hope I don't see them again,'_ Kuroko thought as he was trying to think up of a plan to get out of Akashi's iron grip.

Too bad that his prayers were not heard or even acknowledged...

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**A/N:**

**(1) - **I do NOT own Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

I write nonsensical drabbles, so I can create ideas for my writings. It's like a remedy for my tired mind. :)


	2. Drabble Two

**Summary:** AU Kuroko Tetsuya works as a coffeemaker, a regular and normal job. He likes his ordinary job and life. It was all bliss and beauty... until five outrageous men came into his life and messed up his overused routine. Drabbles of Kuroko's life as a coffeemaker.

**WARNING(s):** swearing, OoC-ness, grammar/spelling errors, fail humor

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN KUROKO NO BASUKE. **

**Note(s):** No matter how much they beg, cry, or complain, never give Kise nor Aomine his keys to the coffee shop.

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**_Drabble Two: Indoor Beach _**

Kuroko woke up early so that he could get ready to open up his shop. He always need to get ready when he deals with those five disasters. No offense. Not really.

He inserted the key to his shop as he was greeted with.. a beach? He looked around slowly, observing the damage done to his shop. There were sand everywhere as it looked like it was carelessly spread across the floor. Shells were on top of it as umbrellas were on the round tables. He stepped further inside, and his feet were suddenly wet. He looked on the floor as there were puddles of water everywhere.

Kuroko quickly noticed the smiling figures of Aomine and Kise and hesitantly asked,"Were we vandalized?"

Kise frowned pitifully by Kuroko's inquiry. "No! We did it!"

"_You_ vandalized my shop?" Kuroko raised his eyebrow in question. It looked like he was calm, but on the inside, he was red with anger. Fury. Enraged.

"We did not vandalize it!" Kise said while motioning his hands to form an 'X'. "We spiced it up!"

_'Yep... It's vandalized,'_ Kuroko thought bitterly. "Now why do would you want to 'spice' my coffee shop up?"

Aomine gave a goofy grin that made Kuroko want to punch him. "'Cause your shop is like bland and boring, so we helped to bring in more customers."

_'No! No! I don't need your help!'_ Kuroko thought angrily and was about to say that but instead said, "Is that so?"

Kise nodded in happiness, glad that Kuroko liked their effort and help. Too bad, that Kuroko didn't. And he planned to kick them out.

"Give me your keys to my shop," Kuroko said. Kise stopped his fantasy about Kuroko becoming his and stared idiotically at the figure of his affection. Aomine also stared stupidly at him, mentally questioning him what he did wrong.

"Ehh? Kuroko-cchi! Why?"

"Why do you think?" Kuroko asked back, his emotions begging to burst and yell out at the idiotic blonde and overly tanned numbskull. In short, Kuroko was at his edge.

"Ah. Tetsu... I think I lost them," Aomine lied, although Kuroko could see through his pathetic attempt. "I think Kise has his though."

"Aomine-cchi!" Kise cried out pitifully, stomping his feet on the floor like a child. Kuroko shook his head and thought of 101 ways to hurt Kise and Aomine. It was endless, since Kise was really sensitive, and Aomine gets scared easily.

In short, they are weak. Really weak.

Kuroko turned towards the door to his coffee shop, seeing Akashi and Midorima walking in, looking bewildered by the change of the shop. Akashi easily avoided the sand and water that was going to damage his new shoes, while Midorima just stood there as he adjusted the goggles he was wearing over his glasses.

"Tetsuya, I would like a cup of tea please." Akashi was seated on one of the tables as he sat there, thinking it was a regular day.

"Uh... Akashi-kun, this is a coffee shop," Kuroko muttered as he stared at the man who was minding his own business. Akashi glared at him, wanting his tea now.

Kuroko sighed and shook his head. He monotonously said, "Don't you have work?"

"Ah! I skipped my schedule for this! Manager will be so mad!"

"Fuck!"

Kuroko moved towards his counter as he watched the two troublemakers run to their jobs, glad that they will not try to 'spice' up his shop. For now. He was also glad that Kise left his keys to Kuroko's shop on the counter. Now all that he needed is Aomine's 'lost' keys.

"Akashi-kun, please come back here. I might have a tea bag." Kuroko motioned Akashi to follow his orders, which Akashi reluctantly did, as they went to the back of his shop.

Leaving Midorima frozen and alone in Aomine's and Kise's indoor beach.

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**A/N:**

It's really short, and I apologize. For the next drabble, I will try to make it longer. And funnier. Maybe. It might have more fail humor. :( I'm also sorry for my slow updates.

Thanks for the reviews, follows, and favorites! :D I've been busy trying to even start our collab... Yeah... Pitiful. I'm sorry, but I barely started the next chapter for Lost. I had it all planned out and stuff, but I couldn't get into details yet. Please be patient for it :) !

If you guys didn't leave a review, favorite, or even follow, please do so. Or else.


	3. Drabble Three

**Summary:** AU Kuroko Tetsuya works as a coffeemaker, a regular and normal job. He likes his ordinary job and life. It was all bliss and beauty... until five outrageous men came into his life and messed up his overused routine. Drabbles of Kuroko's life as a coffeemaker.

**WARNING(s):** swearing, OoC-ness, grammar/spelling errors, fail humor

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN KUROKO NO BASUKE. **

**Note(s):** Momoi seemed to have mistaken a beverage for a wedding ring.

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**_Drabble Three: Fiancé_**

"Tetsu! The usual!" Aomine shouted from the door as he strolled right in, acting as if he owned the place. Kuroko nodded, not caring about Aomine's preposterous manners, or lack thereof.

A pink haired and big breasted woman came bursting through the doors, eager and excited, as Kuroko handed Aomine his usual coffee. She looked left and right, trying to find someone as her eyes lighted up when she saw her target. Kuroko Tetsuya.

"Tetsu-kun!" Momoi yelled out as she ran to the counter, ready to hug Kuroko to death.

Aomine spluttered, sending part of his coffee to the counter, when he saw the pink hair woman trying to get over the counter to Kuroko. "Satsuki?"

"Oh, Dai-chan! It's you!" Recognition lit her face as she momentarily stopped her mission from hugging Kuroko. She sat down on a seat, manners coming back to her like a wave, as she smiled at the man who cringed at his nickname.

"Why're you here?" Momoi gave him a big smile, something that unnerved the tanned male. He hesitantly waited for her dreaded reply.

"Tetsu-kun and I are fiancés!" Poor Aomine once again spitted out his coffee, making it spill all over the counter, as he looked incredulously up at Kuroko, who was looking at the spill on the counter. He wanted confirmation from the future groom himself.

"I was young and naive." Aomine spitted out his coffee all over the spill. Again.

"W-Wait! You got her pregnant?!" Kuroko gave him a disgusted looked and shook his head, eyes narrowing with detest. That was definitely a no.

"It was a warm day and all, but I was depressed. Dai-chan was too busy with work to pay attention to me! I stumbled upon Tetsu-kun's coffee shop and told him my worries; he was so kind! I told him that my friend didn't invite me to her wedding! I was really excited to help her! She did ask me to prepare some things for her before the instead, she ignored my calls and messages! I _did_ help her with her planning, so why is she doing this?

"Tetsu-kun gave me a kind smile as he gave me a coffee. The coffee foam on top formed a ring! Not ready for marriage, I told him no. But Tetsu-kun tried to act all confused and stuff! I loved his bold attitude so I took back what I said and told him to wait for me! So we are fiancés, waiting for our marriage!" Momoi gushed as she talked about her beloved Tetsu-kun. "Also, when I reached out to pay, he stopped me and told me it was on the house! What a gentleman! ...Unlike somebody I know."

She gave Aomine a glare as she turned away when he noticed her gaze. "I'm not ready for marriage yet, so please wait for me Tetsu-kun!"

Before Kuroko could give her a reply, she was out the door and waving exuberantly. Kuroko gave out an inaudible sigh as he looked at the spill of coffee and the counter. Not only did Momoi still believed the misunderstanding but also he had to clean up the mess.

Silence overcame them for a moment as Kuroko went to take the orders of another customer. He easily ignored Aomine, who was busy comprehending the information from Momoi. Aomine was rather slow to understand things. Ones do wonder how did Aomine graduate from high school and ended up as a policeman.

Aomine looked up as his eyes sparkled, making Kuroko uncomfortable. What Aomine will say will either get a negative or a negative response. It was a lose-lose situation. "So, Tetsu, can I be your best man?"

His response was met with coffee poured onto him and his police uniform. Before Aomine could yell at Kuroko, Kuroko ignored him and went on to another customer. Aomine was dripping and angry as he looked at his ruined uniform.

"You also have to pay for that coffee too, Aomine-kun," Kuroko said to the wet male. Aomine grumbled out in response as he searched through his pockets. He slammed damp money on the counter as he tried to squeeze out all the coffee.

Whatever happened to Aomine? He came to the police station late and wet with his ruined uniform. He had to run around the whole city once and stay overtime for a week as punishment. Though, it was better than Akashi. If Akashi saw him, he would make Aomine do unspeakable and horrifying exercises...

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**A/N:**

I WROTE THIS DRABBLE QUICKLY AS I COULD. I WAS INSPIRED AND WET FROM A SHOWER, SO THIS WAS THE RESULTS. WHAT.

THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS, FAVORITES, AND FOLLOWS :) ! DO SO AGAIN :3


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